the inside (and other stories)

countless little things

2009-08-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

Countless little things
like stars that fill the night's vast ceiling
and change the parametres of feeling
just countless little things

but collected they are a constellation
a symphony of heaven's invention
and I treasure them in introspection
these countless little things

For AC

tiny oceans

2009-08-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

Your eyes like tiny oceans keep
your soul beneath pools of colour deep
They gaze at me, my heart exposed
and see the depth to which this love goes

The jewels of your smile
are the stars of my night
they gently hint at feelings hid
that I desire to swim amid

And I'm by fascination lured
into a paradox observed
that complex thoughts and fears are held
where hope and wonder also dwell

For AC 19/09/09

I

2009-08-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

I will wrap around you
as you face affliction from all sides
as the storm surrounds you
against the pervasive tide

I will be your strength
when weakness is all you feel
when all about you is superficial, fake and empty
I'll be real

When you are tossed by changing fortune
I will be your sure foundation
against the dumbing down and cynical
I'll be revelation

And I will hold you
through the enveloping night
when you are choked and disillusioned
I'll be your fight

I will give and give without ever asking
except to ask that you receive
just acknowledge me and I'll breathe through you
Just believe

I've already won the battle
that wars within your soul
release to me your turmoil
and I will make you whole

The Bottom Of Night

2009-06-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

Here at the bottom of night -
A light!

The dawning of thought and morning

Here is my restlessness, my thoughts overflowing
resisting arrest, my impatience growing
Sleep taunts me, haunts me

But my heart weighs heavily upon by chest
I can feel it beating, thumping, breaking

For all that's before me but just beyond reach
and hidden in the conversations I'm faking
is a fear of my own making

This cosy blanket of inhibition
bravery displayed in the safest of places
Why can't I escape it after all this time?

Still sometimes it surfaces like this -
A momentary abyss

Here at the bottom of night, a fight.

She Is Life

2009-06-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

She is life relentless
confident as a whisper never forced
hers is a smile like sunrise,
in its warmth to linger
as she burns within me

She is thoughtful and articulate
and rarely wrong
a whirlwind of possibility that I buy into
she is strong

She doesn’t need me
yet she chooses to need me
she is strong-willed but submissive,
stubborn, resolved
she believes in right and fair
and I believe in her

Careful in words,
she is expressive and kind
the finest friend I’ve ever known
the best friend I’ll ever want

She is pure though she might doubt it
gentle in demeanour
honest and sincere

And when she reaches out to me I hold her
like precious porcelain
her body shapes to mine
and steals my breath away

And she is here
and she is mine
pictures clear in a memory blurred
she is beautiful beyond these words

For AC May 09

Sudden The Knowledge Of Love

2009-02-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

She is radiant in surrender
her skin flushed with warm hues
Her smile disarms me in a moment-
eyes like oceans hide her thoughts through a thin veneer

While I - I am tossed by a tide of emotion
lost in that moment
as words of expression tumble down
an avalanche of feeling
inadequate yet profound

Is this connection?
At last soul searching's end?
The sweet taste of certainty
an irresistible blend

Is this the warmth of morning?
Of sunlight splashing through
-at last the shadow fading
the futility of loneliness and fear exposing

Summed up in a still
your hair spilled around your face
framed in blushing beauty
your eyes locked on mine

Sudden is the knowledge of love
where all reason is folly
awakened and untamed by time's dulling
youthful and pure

For AC Jan 09

the early morning hours

2008-10-05T06:48:00.001-07:00

As I lie awake in the darkness
I wonder if you’re sleeping
time is distance between us
but you’re alive in the same moment as me

I wish that I could touch you
or just feel you next to me
your breathing body rise and fall
see your eyes closed as you sleep
your trusting shape
your skin washed with night
all fear drained away

In your embrace a feeling floods through me
that I can’t deny
Words overflow and consume me
but they can’t explain

I’d need a lifetime to prove that I love you
the way I say I do
And as you cling to me its not long enough
It’s not enough

How do I make my heart settle down?
and reign in my fear?
how do I miss you less or love you less;
just enough to breathe without you?

When in this moment I’m lost
I feel love’s control
and this simple beauty whose hope is in me
is so complex and hard to know

How do I protect you when I’m such a stranger to strength?
let go when I want to hold on?
How do I guard your love
When I’m captive to my own?

I have only trust
fragile, innocent trust
faith in you, that you’ll be there;
so I don’t have to do this alone

Morning Light

2008-10-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

I miss you tonight
amid the lanterns of the night fishermen
as the old pier adorns a thousand orange lights, my memory ignites.

I walked along the seafront
with the stars clear above me
sucking in the warm air with the waves rolling gently.

In the last embers of the fire
I felt a distant draw
I was alone in a crowd with your ghost by my side.

I miss you and it feels so hard
but I know this is just a moment
I press the peddle to the floor, disorientating distance pulled toward.

You'll disappear to sleep
disappear to night
disappear to the forgiving of warm morning light.

Of Stars

2008-10-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

Of moonlight walking, fingers entwined
Of bright morning light
Of singing in the early hours
Of a smile and eyes that light up the world like stars

Of sunrise and sunset
Holding and holding on
Of hope and stillness and tenderness
Of touch

Of laughter and curiosity
Of spirit and freedom and feeling alive
Of watching you watching me

Of kisses and goodbyes
and hugs that won't let go
Of walking and talking and mysteries unfolding
Of life

Of looking forward
Of letters and growing
Of sharing and knowing
Of sweetness and longing,
passion and belonging

Of gazing upward
Of dancing
Of driving and songs
Of singing along
Of the way your hair smells, your skin feels

Of the way you see the world
Of the way you love God
Of getting closer, nearer
Of seeing you relate
Of the way others admire
the way you communicate

Of light and shade, quietness and noise
Of the way love returns to you
Of movement and grace, elegance and poise
Of manners and kindness,
gentleness and refinedness

Of compassion and care
Of selflessness
Of simple things

Of words that don't come
that don't need to be said
Of tears that I caused
and those that I shed

Of everything we gave and then gave away

Because...

Fragile

2008-10-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Brilliant is the light you send
and open the arms you extend
stark are the choices you made
brave beyond the bitter end

Crazy the smile you wear
after all that you've had to bear
Fragile is the heart beneath
Fragile it's every beat

But precious the time we spend
on the other side of the end
little by little we steal
our dreams back to dream again

Bright is the distant sun
that will soon cover everyone
Fragile the voice that sings
Fragile it's melody

Slowly and slowly I wait
patience my impatience frustrates
however long the journey takes
its not a difficult decision to make